Happy 2 year anniversary to us. I can’t believe its been 2 whole years. We built a home, went to Thailand, Hawaii, Japan, Paris, Amsterdam, loss a baby, gained love and start to a new career. I feel like every year as time goes on I learn more and more what is working and not. Last year I wrote some tips I learned about marriage, so it is only fitting I do it again this year!
- Always chose your spouse: Every morning I have a decision, to chose Keloni or not. It could be as little as choosing to love him by making him breakfast/lunch, making his pre-workout drink before the gym, helping him get out the house, making dinner, text through out the day or even a phone call to check up. Or something as big as career changes, living situations or other items. It is always important to chose your spouse and love them everyday.
- Focus on what is important: Your spouse is not perfect and neither are you. Think about it, when you see something you really want (lets say new shoes) your mind will focus and notice every.single.time someone has those shoes. It is the exact same thing for your spouse. If they are doing something that just annoys you and you focus on it, it will be come bigger and bigger. Focus on what is important and not the little things that do not matter.
- Your spouse comes before anyone or anything: Keloni and I made a vow to each other before we got married, that if anyone or anything is not pushing our marriage together, to Christ, for us to have a family intact and together for eternity we eliminate it. We set this boundary and it has been so easy to stick by. Don’t let anyone or any materialistic/wordly thing tear your family apart. period. end of story.
- Relationship brings a sense of freedom rather than ownership: Your marriage should feel this way too. Allow your spouse to be themselves, grow and excel in their daily life. I have never once felt that I have lost my freedom in my marriage, rather than it has brought a freedom. Freedom to be myself, to have someone push me, freedom to travel and see places together. Let your marriage be a sense of freedom not ownership.
- Have your thing, they have their thing and together have your guys thing: I have found it is equally important for Keloni to have his thing (guys night, football or even working out with buddies) for me to have my thing (girls night or even photography). But, it is so important to have your thing together (we workout together sometimes, travel, watch a movie and getting into camping/fishing). Make time for each other, put each other first and allow each other to be their own person too.
- Love is an action that leads to a feeling: You hear the saying “we fell out of love” it is because people stop doing the little things that show love. You have to show love for the feelings of love to come. Always do the little and big things that show your spouse you love them.
- Put 100% in your relationship not 50%: If you say, “meet me half way” it will never work. You have to make a commitment to yourself that no matter what you are going to put 100% in the relationship. Hopefully your spouse will return 100%, not 50%.
- Check in with each other: Keloni and I always make sure we text or call each other a couple times through out the day to check in on how the other one is doing. It is important to let the other spouse know A. I am thinking of you B. I care to know how you are doing C. I am here for you.
- Weekly meetings: Keloni and I try to every sunday have a meeting with each other. We go over each others schedules, what we need to work on, what has been bothering us and financial goals. Think about it.. you meet with your boss for check ups, your doctor and even school counselor. It helps communication and everything be transparent.
- If you want something to last, treat it different: BIG one here guys. If you want a special relationship treat it different. My favorite quote is from F. Burton Howard: “if you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as times goes by.”
Keloni, I wish I could tell the whole world how I feel about you. There will never be enough words to describe how lucky I am to be your wife. Here is to two years down and eternity to go. I love you.
If you want to read my last year top 10 things i learned about marriage you can read it by clicking–> here